Disobedient children and emotional accidents

Why do children have to listen? Well, they don't. Children need to understand, children need healthy, relevant and clear guidance. We need to learn how to guide children for their benefit, in their best interests and for their ultimate good. Out of the helplessness of times gone by, people used to say "you listen to me because I say so". Probably the poor information and the system that demanded training had educated that generation to be obedient, without allowing them to think. They had people to think for them, and they just obediently listened. Well, that's not so today. Today we know what emotional child abuse is and the effect of that abuse over time.

Today we have information and specialists who explain its applicability and guide us towards a free and harmonious future. Our child is not a robot that we programme through threats, abuse, shouting and absurd rules. You are familiar with the saying "I told you a thousand times, what don't you understand?" This very often used and seemingly trite expression is an abuse of our children. We never say 1000 times, and they know it. What can they understand from that? Are we exaggerated liars? Quite possibly. Our children understand much more than we think. Let's not underestimate our children.

A correct behaviour towards the child guarantees us a teenager who knows how to face challenges, a good teenager, who does not yell at parents, a teenager who hugs us and tells us his problems and looks for solutions together with us, the parents. A good teenager means a good adult and a better and more beautiful world. Good or bad is cultivated in the first years of life, in the family. We choose what we plant, I would say to choose good, harmony and respect.

To respect our children, to talk to them, to be kind, to be gentle and tolerant and to plant the seeds of balance and love.

A child is not educated by shouting, screaming, threatening, anger, blackmail or humiliation. All we do is to hit them emotionally and teach them these destructive behaviours that they will show at some point with us, their environment or against them. They will develop self-destructive behaviours (drugs, alcohol, disinterestedness towards themselves etc).